Whether it’s a personal or career change you want or need, change is a process with many phases. There’s a beginning, a middle, and an end; but unfortunately, these steps aren’t linear nor rarely black and white. So, it’s easy to get stuck, lost, or thrown off course during any phase of transition.
When that happens, it’s important to ask for help; but for some people,
that’s the hardest thing to do.
Time and again, people share with me the difficulties they have in asking for help. As a Change Agent, I’ve had many clients with whom our first step was to tackle and alleviate the shame they felt about ‘having to’ ask for help. My heart always goes out to them as we work to free them from this false, unnecessary barrier to their transformation journey.
Sometimes asking for help is the most meaningful example of self-reliance.Unknown
If you suffer from help-resistance, you’re not alone. Help is too often seen as negative. Resistance to it is ingrained in the majority of our society. There are many reasons for this, including the rampant, “I should be able to handle it myself,” rationale, which I think is downright dangerous. But how can we be surprised at this expectation when we live in a society that is largely based on helping yourself? Why should we be surprised at our proclivity to be self-sufficient or omnipotent when the self-help industry is currently valued at around $13 billion?
I sometimes wonder where it began, the idea that asking for help is a weakness, because the truth is the polar opposite. In actuality, not asking for help can be a form of self-sabotage and self-neglect. The ability to reach out for help is a strength, it’s wise, it’s courageous, and it’s transformative.
Yet, I fully understand how seeking help, especially amid change, can be difficult. For some people, this act chips away at pride, makes them question their abilities and sometimes creates paralyzing anxiety. The good news is, it doesn’t have to. Asking for help can also do something else — it can create and give you better results.
Seeking support and guidance during a life transition can offer you countless benefits. You will be better able to
- respond proactively and positively to change and transition.
- attain clarity of direction and purpose.
- receive a non-biased opinion.
- see the reality of your situation.
- eliminate negative thinking.
- energize your can-do spirit.
- grow personally and professionally.
- look forward with optimism and excitement.
- break down barriers and assuage fear.
- generate fresh ideas and perspectives.
- gain new insights.
It’s high time that we all turn the act of seeking help around to see it as a positive, as a self-empowering act.
Research has proven that having a support system has many positive benefits, such as higher levels of well-being, better coping skills, and a longer, healthier life.
Consider the fact that even the most successful people, like Richard Branson and Warren Buffet, must ask for help and have other people advise them. Or consider athletes. Behind every successful sports figure is someone who has trained and guided him or her along their path to greatness.
Everyone goes through periods of change in their lives. Whether it’s naturally occurring, a matter of your own choice, or a ‘forced’ change, it’s an opportunity to improve your well-being and allow you to discover and become a better version of your self and live a more fulfilling life. But you can’t always make or go through change alone, and that’s completely normal. So, empower yourself, go beyond your comfort zone, embrace that fact that help is a positive thing; change your mindset if you need to. By taking an active step in seeking help or advice, you’re actually taking control of your life.
To find out more about how I can help support you through your transition, feel free to hop on a FREE call with me. Book a time in my calendar at www.daniellesilvermanconsult.com.